Rare Bits

Let me start by saying that I’m not just some regressive man-child who can’t claw his way out of the haze of his own childhood because mommy drank too much and daddy yelled at him for not being enough of a man. In fact, I’m long since over all of that. No, I realize that there were more than a few terrible games made during the 8-bit era of my youth, and some of them were even ones that I enjoyed at the time. I did in fact enjoy the first Godzilla, but it had a whole lot more to do with the fact that it was the only game my parents ever rented for me, and this only because I had gotten a fly trapped in my ear and had to visit the emergency room. However, I have no illusions about the quality of said game. My taste is untainted by the saccharine of memories past.

In fact, I currently spend a good deal of my free time playing bygone videogames (mostly NES games) that I never played as a child. Why? Because I like hard fucking games, That’s why. I’m only middling good at playing them — my greatest accomplishment being split between beating Bionic Commando, and almost beating Bayou Billy — but the sense of accomplishment that comes from making progress in a game that relentlessly pounds your ego into the ground easily trumps the cakewalk that a lot of games seem to have become in the last decade or so. I realize that you game developers out there really want us to experience all of your brilliant story, but I didn’t come to watch the show – I’m here for it to make me feel bad about myself.

So here’s where I tie it together with something that matters.

Gaming like this gives me the same rush and drive that making comics does. Both are harder than shit. They make me feel bad, and frustrated, and sometimes really want to break my tools (and sometime I actually do). But somehow, they’re both still fun. Why? How does an activity that causes me pain and anxiety keep me coming back? It could be the thrill of having everything go right. Sometimes it feels like I’m skating on butter with four legs in slow motion. I couldn’t screw it up if I tried. Other times I’ve left my apartment and walked into a nearly frozen over lake just to try and quench the frustration. (I’d like to point out that this was not over a video game. I was trying to draw a doorway.) Maybe it’s just the feeling of overcoming something that you couldn’t the day before. Who knows…

All I know is I’m crazy for doing both. I need a hobby that’s more relaxing.

Anyway — happy Monday you teaming multitudes.

Jason